The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week – August 26, 2019

Queerest Things - Derry Girls season two

On this chapter of The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week, I finish Derry Girls season two as quickly as a small bag of delicious potato chips, and Alex & Piper grow further apart while trying to stay together on Orange is the New Black.

Warning: This post contains spoilers!
Orange is the New Black – Season 7 Episode 8 “Baker’s Dozen” [Streaming]

Piper is on a women’s wilderness retreat while Alex is navigating what happened between her and CO McCullough.

Orange is the New Black - I'm married

Alex is vehement about shutting down whatever feelings McCullough has for her. Alex is trying to stay true to her prison marriage to Piper by not getting involved with the CO and trying to keep the phone charger business under the radar so she doesn’t get more time.

Over in the ICE kitchen, Nicky and Shani are still being cute.

Orange is the New Black - How into me are you

People are never this happy on this show. You know something terrible is going to happen to one or both of them.

Meanwhile, on the sisterhood-bonding, animal hunting, getting to be one with nature retreat, Piper’s friend is trying to hook her up with her friend Zelda who is recently divorced from her wife. Piper and Zelda wind up rooming together and are put on retreat tasks together which makes her think Zelda is in on the hookup plan.

Orange is the New Black - Good to know

Zelda is like, “I’ve met your friend once,” and insists she is not in on the plan. The two of them do not hook up on the retreat, but they do wind up bonding and becoming friends.

Back at Litchfield, OC McCullough is feeling regret over forcing Alex into the illegal charger business and inappropriately kissing her, so she shuts their business down.

Alex’s steadfast determination to stay faithful to her prison wife didn’t last long! We soon learn she has a hard time staying away from a fixer-upper.

BH90210 – Season 1 Episode 3 “The Photo Shoot” [Live]

On this episode, we get to see Gabrielle’s husband’s reaction to the Vegas kiss with Theresa the bartender. It’s not good.

BH90210 - This is something I need to explore

I get it. I would be threatened if my wife had an “electric” kiss with Ali Liebert while on a business trip in Vegas. Even though her husband is not cool with it, Gabrielle knows this is something she needs to figure out.

Later, in a meeting with Christine the producer, Christine lets Gabrielle know she has a personal interest in “Andrea’s” storyline.

This is where I know I’m missing things not having watched the original 90210. I don’t know who Christine is, or the significance of her being queer and the producer. Feel free to fill me in in the comments!

As Gabrielle’s ambassador to the queer community, I think Christine should slow things down. Jumping on a dating app sounds like step five, not one. I would start off with a list of movies and TV shows to watch. Maybe some low key queer hang out spots or events. Also, you know news would spread quickly the minute someone from our community spotted an actor on a queer dating app. But this is television and there are only so many episodes in a season. Things need to move quickly!

Later on, Christine checks in on Gabrielle’s “research.”

BH90210 - I've not had any hits

I’m glad Gabrielle is thinking about the tabloid implications for getting on a queer dating app, but it’s not getting her far in terms of “research.” How about something slower like going to a Brandi Carlile concert?

At the end of the episode, Gabrielle finally gets a ping from the app and it is…

BH90210 - Christine asks Gabrielle out

Woah, it looks like, as a queer woman, Christine has taken an interest in Gabrielle herself. That wink at the end gives me the creeps, but maybe Gabrielle is into winks.

I also love the fake names shows come up with for wlw dating apps. “Madame for Madame” on this show, “Sapphire” on Orphan Black…can naming fictitious queer dating apps for TV be my job?

Wow, so this is where we’re going! I love the fact we’re getting this storyline. You rarely see middle age women navigating or discovering their sexuality after 40. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Derry Girls – Season 2 Episode 1 “Episode 1” [Streaming]

My wife and I have a lot of streaming series to watch on our plate. We started with one episode of GLOW season three and one of Derry Girls season two and couldn’t stop watching Derry Girls until we finished the entire season.

The show is so funny, and I am entertained by every character. There wasn’t a ton of gay in this episode, but just enough funny lines to remind everyone Clare came out as a lesbian at the end of the last season.

I have to watch this show with the captions on and Google terms as I watch. This season I learned:

  • Craic – News, gossip, fun, entertainment, and enjoyable conversation, particularly prominent in Ireland.
  • Rock the Boat Dance – It’s a real thing in Ireland!
  • Boke – Puke.
  • Baps – Boobs.

Seriously, though, with only six 22-minute episodes a season it feels like we finished all of Derry Girls season two in the blink of an eye. Thankfully, we have season three to look forward to.

This week my wife and I are working on getting through GLOW. I’m not super into this season, but I’ll have some queer things to report on next week.

About Tracy Levesque

America's favorite biracial, TV obsessed lesbian. Tracy will watch almost any show with queer female characters and has a lot to say about it. She is happy to have joined queer WordPress superpowers with Mika to build this site. She lives with her wife and kid in Philly.

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