The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week – February 11, 2019

Queerest Things - Stef and Lena on Good Trouble

On this chapter of The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week, there was so much queer content last week! We got a visit from Stef and Lena on Good Trouble; One Day at a Time season three dropped; and Riverdale had its queerest episode yet.

Warning: This post contains spoilers!
Runaways – Season 2 Episode 13 “Split Up” [Streaming]

I finally finished Runaways season 2, and I actually enjoyed the finale episode. I thought it was a strong finish to the season.

At the end of the previous episode, Xavin told Karolina she was her betrothed. This one begins with Xavin telling her story of stowing away on a spaceship with alien royalty and making her way to Earth via a cool animated sequence.

Runaways - My beloved

TL;DR – prophecy says Xavin is Karolina’s wife. The end.

Karolina is like, “Woah, you zapped that animated short into my brain and slow down, I just met you.”

Runaways - I've known you for 5 minutes

It’s like a bad lesbian second date when you’re both not on the same page.

Of course, this is the perfect time for Nico to walk in.

Runaways - Who the hell is this

I am so here for this drama.

The gang doesn’t know what to do with Xavin and Karolina’s mom who are now crashing at Runaway Hideout Headquarters.

Runaways - Aliens with fairy tale fixations

Xavin and Karolina’s mom stay back at the house while the Runaways go out to meet Chase and wind up in a game of cat and mouse with all of their parents.

Spike, I mean Victor possessed by Jonah, traps Karolina with some red light thing that prevents her from using her powers. He then takes her back to Chase’s house where they’re met by Tina and Stacey, also possessed by aliens. The whole thing ends with Karolina, Chase and Janet suspended in healing tubes ready for the aliens to transfer their energy into them.

And that’s that. We’ll see what happens in season three.

Black Lightning – Season 2 Episode 12 “The Book of Secrets: Chapter Two: Just and Unjust” [Live]

It looks like ThunderGrace have upped their relationship to Anissa having a key to Grace’s apartment level.

Black Lightning - I'm so happy I gave you a key

Additionally cute is the fact that Grace fell asleep reading Black Lightning and Thunder comics. Very Meta.

Another day on another date, Anissa and Grace are walking through a park after watching a movie, and Anissa spontaneously jumps into a game of double dutch. Is there anything she can’t do?

Black Lightning - Anissa jumping rope

Grace tells Anissa she admires how spontaneous she is, and Anissa replies by saying she’d like to get to know her better. The conversation takes a turn with Grace saying Anissa is the one who is always taking off without an explanation, and she never questions her about it.

I don’t know if Grace means, “You would know me better if you weren’t doing mysterious stuff all the time,” or if she’s asking her to stay out of her business so she doesn’t have to explain why her skin freaks out.

Either way, Anissa doesn’t want to fight, but she does notice Grace’s eyes turning color.

Black Lightning - Your eyes they change color

Uh oh, Grace is having one of her outbreaks. She blames the eye color on the light.

Anissa tells Grace she’s been thinking about their relationship, and she wants her to meet her family.

Black Lightning - Can you come to dinner?

Anissa notices a split second eye color change, but she doesn’t notice a pattern break out on Grace’s entire arm?

Grace just freaks out after that and takes off with Anissa standing there wondering what she did wrong.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of the “Grace keeping whatever is up with her a secret” story line. We’re 12 episodes into this season, just tell Anissa already!

At the end of the episode, Anissa uses her key to let herself into Grace’s apartment and she is gone.

Black Lightning - Grace is gone

Are we really doing this? Do we really need to throw Grace taking off into the story? And how gone is she? She took her clothes, but her furniture’s all there and the locks weren’t changed. Did she just go on a trip? I hope we get answers tonight.

Good Trouble – Season 1 Episode 5 “Parental Guidance Suggested” [Live]

It’s the episode we’ve been waiting for, y’all — Stef and Lena on Good Trouble!

The girls are frantically trying to get The Coterie cleaned and ready for their moms visit, and in the process, Callie discovers Mariana is $20K deep in credit card debt.

Meanwhile Lena is giving Stef a “be nice” pep talk as they ride the elevator to the girls’ floor.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - Smile and say nothing

The elevator door opens and the girls think it’s their moms, but instead it’s a fire inspector there on an anonymous tip.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - Fire Trap

The comedic timing here really sets the mood for a hilarious episode.

The girls show Stef and Lena around and Stef keeps asking about The Coterie’s security. They keep insisting that the place is secure and they know everyone who lives there. When they show them the communal bathroom, a stranger walks out of the shower, and Dennis walks out after her.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - I'm Dennis I do live here

This is my favorite version of Stef — no nonsense, “I’m not going to shake a random naked dude’s hand” Stef. I miss her.

Callie and Mariana show Stef and Lena the rest of the house including their loft where Lena discovers the bowl under one of the beds.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - That is our chamber pot

That made me lol.

Callie is mad at Mariana for running her mouth about The Coterie’s drama and making Stef anxious. Mariana says Callie’s projecting, but when you switch over to Stef and Lena, you see Callie’s totally right. Stef is worried Dennis is a sexual predator and Lena is trying to calm her down with a one-minute meditation. Stef decides to finish the cookie she’s eating instead of meditating, and SURPRISE, they’re pot cookies.

I LOVE the accidental drug dosing trope!

Unknowingly stoned Stef and Lena are so funny.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - I want chips

Dennis is holding a group improv session in the living room, and high Stef is game to participate.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - Please don't touch me

“Please don’t touch me.” I love it.

While Stef is doing high improv and giving Dennis a hard time, Lena wanders off into Malika’s loft. There her weed high somehow morphs into an Ayahuasca trip where we flashback to Lena having a racist encounter during her campaign for State Assembly. Ugh, it’s horrible, but necessary commentary on how white supremacists are emboldened under this administration.

Towards the end of the episode all the tea is spilled: Callie and Mariana hate their jobs. Callie is sleeping with Gael. Mariana is deep in credit card debt, Callie and Malika’s relationship might get her booted off the legal case she’s working on, and Lena is considering dropping out of the State Assembly race.

The moms hand out some solid advice to the girls, and in return they talk Lena into not dropping out of the race.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - you can't drop of out the race, Mama

The moms leave while a montage of inspirational quotes from everyone plays in the background and they make their final exit down the elevator.

Stef and Lena on Good Trouble - riding down the elevator

I loved this episode. It was funny, inspirational — and I hate myself for saying this — touching. Stef and Lena were their best selves and I enjoyed seeing a grown up Callie and Mariana around them.

Why couldn’t we have seen more of this on The Fosters? Maybe Stef and Lena needed all of those kids out of the house before they could be nice to each other.

And now, the Sponge Rating.

Stef and Lena were generally sweet to each other for the entire episode AND they held hands and kissed on the elevator.

I give it 3 out of 5 sad sponges.

3 out of 5 sad sponges

I hope we see Stef and Lena on Good Trouble again, because I love this iteration of them.

Riverdale – Season 3 Episode 12 “Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale” [Live]

Holy Moly there was so much quality queer content on this episode, I could not keep up! I knew there were going to be some Choni scenes, but I did not have my hopes up based on the show’s track record. This episode delivered the queer goods.

It was written by out lesbian Riverdale staff writer Britta Lundin, and y’all should read the tweets she made during the episode because they are the best.

We open up on Toni and Cheryl in a real bed after getting kicked out of the Serpents last week for their cat burglar shenanigans.

Riverdale - Choni I miss the game, babe

The next moment they get their SAT scores on their phones, and we get the first of many lesbian pop culture references in this episode.

Riverdale - Choni much like desert hearts

Lesbian pop culture reference 1Desert Hearts, the 1985 movie about a soon-to-be divorcee and a ranchowner’s daughter. It’s also one of the first queer movies I ever watched.

They both got great scores and Cheryl is hoping it’s enough for her to get into Highsmith College, the school multi-generations of women in her family have attended.

Riverdale - Choni Flawless

Later, Cheryl meets with Headmistress Patricia of Highsmith College about being admitted to the school. Unfortunately she has some bad news for her.

Riverdale - Patricia Highsmith

Lesbian pop culture reference 2Patricia Highsmith queer novelist known for Strangers on a Train and The Talented Mr. Ripley.

Cheryl is pissed by this news and pretty sure her mother is behind it. She confronts her mother at work (her dominatrix brothel, The Maple Club) and Mama Blossom tells her, “Highsmith will not be polluted by someone of her alignment.” She also calls Cheryl an aberration.

I love that Cheryl does not flinch when her mom is being a homophobic jerk to her face. She stays 100% focused and snarky Cheryl. Cheryl threatens her mom with exposing The Maple Club, but Cheryl’s mom is not worried because she’s given the school a ton of money over the years.

Riverdale - The Price of Salt

Lesbian pop culture reference 3The Price of Salt a 1952 romance novel by Patricia Highsmith that the movie Carol is based on.

At school, Cheryl sees Kevin looking sad and asks him what’s wrong. He tells her he wants to date Moose openly, but Moose won’t come out. He says Moose’s dad is not the biggest fan of their “persuasion.”

Riverdale - Anything less than rapturous

This is my favorite thing Cheryl has ever said. She also threw a reference to The Talented Mr. Ripley in her conversation with Kevin.

Moved by Kevin’s situation, Cheryl takes it upon herself to help him by giving Moose the “subtlest of nudges” which turns out to be anything but subtle.

Cheryl calling herself “openly lesbian” and ending her announcement with Shepard’s Pie was so great, but girl, you outed Moose! She can be very clueless sometimes.

Toni is pissed.

Finally we get to see Toni be more than Cheryl’s arm candy. Cheryl honestly looks really sorry for what she’s done and how it has affected Toni. It’s like she actually paused for a moment to see things from other people’s perspective.


Riverdale - The Girls in 3-B

Lesbian pop culture reference 4The Girls in 3-B by Valerie Taylor. The book is not entirely queer, but it gets filed under lesbian pulp novels because of lesbian content.

Toni is willing to help Cheryl blackmail her mom but only if she keeps her promise to fix the mess she made with Moose.

Riverdale - Choni Fifty shades of Blackmail

Toni snaps pictures of Maple Club clientèle, and Mama Blossom catches them in the act.

Riverdale - Choni mad sapphic caper

Cheryl says, “Step down from the Highsmith Board, lift the ban on legacy students and we won’t make the photos public.” Again, Cheryl’s mom acts like she could care less and tells her Blackmail is way more illegal than the consensual activities happening between adults at the Maple Club.

Despite Penelope Blossom’s tough talk, she still doesn’t want her clients’ privacy compromised. So she does lift the ban, and Cheryl is free to be admitted.

Back at another one-on-one interview with the Headmistress, Cheryl executes step two of her four-part “Make things up to Toni” plan.

Riverdale - Choni Ms Antoinette Topaz

Does this mean they’ll be going to college together? Cute!

In other news…

Riverdale - Oh, great. More teenagers.

Lesbian pop culture reference 5 – Gina Gershon. Okay, this one’s a stretch. She’s not queer, but our community has loved her ever since she was in the movie Bound.

Cheryl meets up with Moose and apologizes to him in part three of her plan. He accepts her apology, and even though it was wrong, it was the catalyst for him to come out to his dad and finally spend a night with Kevin.

That line about the cot made me laugh.

I’ll be honest, I don’t understand what the hell is going on with The Game and the Gargoyle King, but something bad happens forcing all of the parents to call their kids while they’re in the middle of a sex montage.

Riverdale - Choni Sex montage

Then a whole thing happens with the Gargoyle King going after Kevin and Moose. The Gargoyle King turns out to be Moose’s dad, and he tried to stop Kevin and Moose because back in the day he was in love with Kevin’s dad. When this was discovered years ago, he was thrown into conversion therapy with the nuns, and they messed him up. It’s a lot of sad, meta, internalized homophobia gay drama.

In the last Choni scene, Cheryl delivers the fourth and final part of her plan to Toni.

I thought it was so sweet Cheryl gave Toni a girl gang to try to make up for getting kicked out of the Serpents.

And if you didn’t look closely you may have missed it…

Lesbian pop culture reference 6A World Without Men by Valerie Taylor. Another lesbian pulp fiction classic.

I loved this episode, and I have never said that about Riverdale before. Can Britta Lundin write all the episodes, please?

Drunk History – Season 6 Episode 4 ” Trailblazers” [Live]

One of our favorite out actors, Samira Wiley portrayed Bessie Coleman on last week’s Drunk History.

I love Drunk History and this week they are going to cover the stories of Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer and John Wojtowicz & Elizabeth Eden.

One Day at a Time – Season 3 Episode 1 “The Funeral” [Live]

Season three of One Day at a Time is finally here, and it opens up with a funeral.

The family gets the news Tía Ophelia has died, and none of them can remember who she is except for Schneider, of course.

We do learn Lydia’s been in a fight with her little sister, Mirtha, for over 20 years over a mantilla (a lace veil that passed down from bride to bride in a family). Because of this, Penelope has been estranged from her cousin Estrellita who was one of her best friends growing up.

Penelope is ready for this feud to end, and she threatens Lydia with telling the whole family she had a stroke if she doesn’t stop this stupid fight.

The family arrives at the funeral and begins a parade of amazing celebrity cameos. First we have Stephanie Beatriz as Elana’s suspected gay cousin Pilar.

One Day at a Time - You think everyone is gay

It looks like the family plays the “obviously gay but they’re not gay” game.

One Day at a Time - How is that gay

Penelope is like, “Yes, Pilar is gay, but just chill and don’t ask her about it.”

Then we have cameo number two. Lydia’s sister enters the room and it is…Gloria Estefan!

One Day at a Time - I am here

So great. Then right after that we got cameo number three. Penelope’s cousin, Estrellita, is…Melissa Fumero!

One Day at a Time - We're not allowed

Meanwhile, Elana is trying the “I’ll come out to you and you’ll come out to me” tactic with Pilar.

One Day at a Time - I'm gay

Elana’s all “gay this gay that” and Pilar’s like…

One Day at a Time - Oh look anyone else

Oh my goodness, this made me laugh, but I totally remember being newly out and everything being about gayness.

Later, at the post-funeral reception at the Alverez house, Elana corners Pilar in the kitchen and Pilar finally says she has a secret to confess.

One Day at a Time - I'm Jewish

Elana says she’s sorry she feels like she can’t be out, and Pilar is like, “Oh, no I’m out to everyone. The family just chooses to ignore it.” Elana takes this as a tragedy and tells Pilar she needs to come out to everyone right now. Pilar says she doesn’t really care, because they’re not going to change and she knows they all love her.

One Day at a Time - I know how being gay goes

This is a pretty accurate explanation of the coming out process, although after over 30 years of being out, I still hit rainbow underwear levels every once in awhile.

Lydia, her sister and Penelope and her cousin fight over the mantilla for awhile when Pilar steps in.

One Day at a Time - that was a wedding

Lydia thought it was just an “affectionate barbecue.”

After that giant misunderstanding, everyone agrees family is important, and they should never let anything come between them.

Estrellita makes a toast…

One Day at a Time - I'm sorry, what?

Oh, my goodness, that was the comedy cherry on top of an amazing premiere.

This was a prefect episode of television and a strong start to season three. Well done, ODaaT, well done.

That was a lot, y’all. Tonight it looks like Anissa is getting Gambi’s help to find Grace on Black Lightning. Also, Supergirl and Charmed come back, and I’m looking forward to seeing the continuation of Nia and Melko’s story lines.

About Tracy Levesque

America's favorite biracial, TV obsessed lesbian. Tracy will watch almost any show with queer female characters and has a lot to say about it. She is happy to have joined queer WordPress superpowers with Mika to build this site. She lives with her wife and kid in Philly.
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