On this chapter of The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week, Wildmoore shippers rejoice — it’s finally happening on Batwoman.
- Batwoman – Season 3 Episode 9 “Meet Your Maker” [Live]
So much is happening on this show right now. My brain almost can’t handle more than one queer couple to keep track of.
Pam’s been out of her coma for what, a day or two now, and she’s already killing fish poachers and up to other radical ecoterrorist shenanigans. However, she’s not feeling 100% — she’s still pale and looking peaked since her 10-year long plant coma. At her side is Renee who doesn’t seem to have thought up a magic plan to turn Poison Ivy back into Pam.
So it was an impulse revival.
Renee doesn’t seem to be a “Get swept up in the moment and impulsively unleash your evil girlfriend on the city” kind of person to me, but I guess Bridget Regan can do that to you.
Meanwhile, in Renee’s basement office turned into Batcave II, Luke, Ryan and Sophie are trying to deal with the mess Renee has made. Ryan is mad at Sophie for supporting Renee’s plan and not listening to her doubts and is now giving her the silent treatment.
I love Wildmoore‘s bickering because we all know where this is going.
Sophie figured out where Pam is generally located (in the Natural Forrest, awesome), Luke made some herbicidal darts to take Pam down and Ryan is ready to flip the script on Black people dying in the woods. Let’s go Team Batwoman!
Back on the beach, Renee has figured out Pam can send out a plant distress signal via fungi, ground acoustics and some weird plant Reiki she somehow knows to perform. That’s a stretch, but okay. Pam needs Poison Mary’s new plant energy to completely revive so they do the thing to draw Mary to them.
With all the superhero, multiverse, etc. stuff going on fungus reiki is what challenges my ability to suspend disbelief.
Elsewhere, the Bat Team is in a very tense gay car ride to the woods while Wildmoore continues to argue.
Poor Luke is always trapped with Wildmoore drama going on around him with no escape.
Suddenly an injured dude walks out into the road asking for help. Ryan and Luke jump out to help him, and the car, with Sophie in it, gets enveloped in Poison Ivy’s vines. Sophie jumps out in time, but the car is dragged into the woods and the four of them have to run for their lives as the vines chase after them. Stranger dude doesn’t make it, but Team Batwoman finds a cabin and lock themselves inside.
Pam goes back to her and Renee’s tent with blood on her face and Renee is like, “What did you do?” in a “Not again, what this time?” voice. At this point doesn’t Renee know anytime Pam’s out of sight she’s probably off committing crimes? Her life from here on out is going to be like…
Pam: Honey, I’m home.
Renee: What did you do?
Pam says she didn’t hurt the Bat Team, but why is she so concerned? Renee tries to convince her Batwoman is NOT Batman and they are good people. Renee then tells Pam she can change and she can’t keep going down this path. This is like the circular argument some couples have over and over again but it’s about more than forgetting to take out the recycling.
Pam eye-controls Renee and goes off to kill Batwoman. Awesome.
Back in the cabin, with the threat of Poison Ivy looming over them, Sophie and Ryan still find time to do some lesbian processing.
Before Ryan can say what she wants, Poison Ivy’s vines slither into the cabin and wrap around Sophie. Luke is able to spray the vines with a salt and vinegar mixture making them retreat, but he doesn’t have any more salt to make more spray. Sophie remembers a bag of ice-melting salt sitting in the back of the truck outside the cabin so Ryan suits up as Batwoman to go get it. They all have to stay quiet so Pam’s spores can’t hear and find them.
Batwoman silently creeps out to the truck and manages to grab a bag of salt but then, out of nowhere a little kid appears. She gives him the “Shhhh” signal, but he screams, “Batwoman, help!” Out fly the vines! Ryan jumps into the truck and as the vines wrap around it she tells Sophie to blow it up.
The truck blows up, Luke saves the kid and Sophie runs out to see if Ryan is okay.
I think I gasped when that Wildmoore kiss happened.
Only Batwoman can weave an Enemies to Girlfriends (hopefully soon) story around an episode where they’re battling a supervillain. I freaking love this show.
The next day Alice wakes up in a car in the woods. The spore fungus reiki worked and Mary found her way to Pam’s location. But before Pam and her sporeling meet, she is confronted by Renee. Pam is surprised to see her because she mind-controlled her the night before, but Renee explains she made herself a toxin to build up a tolerance to her powers. Okay, was this a spur-of-the-moment I’m going to wake up my very powerful supervillain girlfriend or a planned thing where she even went to the trouble of creating an anti-mind control treatment? You know what, I don’t even care. I am enjoying Renee and Pam’s mess of a relationship, I don’t need it to make sense.
They’re having their “You don’t love me” “I do love you but you need to stop being evil” fight for the 100th time when Mary walks in. Renee backs off and Pam and Mary have their moment.
Wow. I am honestly afraid of what Poison Ivy and Poison Mary are capable of now.
What is going to happen next?? We have post-kiss Wildmoore, post-Pam Renee and post-fully recovered Pam. I can’t wait for Wednesday!
I suggested Margx should make a chart every week and she did!
This week: How much Wildmoore content can we get in the next episode? We’ll see!