On this chapter of The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week, it was finale week last week! Hen and Ren have baby plans on 9-1-1.Choni escaped The Farm on Riverdale, and Alex and Kelly kissed on Supergirl.
This was a big finale week. Five shows I watch had their finales. Four only had short queer scenes in them, and the fifth, The Good Fight, had zero. Maia rode off to DC with Roland Blum, a Fentanyl pop in her mouth. I was not happy about that.
Now on to the queer things I did watch.
- 9-1-1 – Season 2 Episode 18 “This Life We Choose” [Live]
I haven’t had anything queer on 9-1-1 to write about since Hen’s origin story back in November, but in this finale episode, Hen and Ren had a short scene.
They are setting things up for a “lesbian couple trying to have a baby” story line next season. Let’s hope this show does it well because TV’s track record on lesbian conception is dismal.
- The Bold Type – Season 3 Episode 6 “TBT” [Live]
Kat was (still is, I’m not sure) running for City Council and crushed out on her campaign manager Tia who professed to being a “boring straight girl.” When Kat told Tia she was getting flirty vibes from her, Tia insisted that wasn’t what she was doing and then quit as her campaign manager.
At the end of this episode, Kat shows up at Tia’s door to plead with her to rejoin her campaign. Tia then makes a big confession.
I saw this one coming. She can’t be too closeted if she’s okay with making out with a girl on her stoop.
What is going to happen to Kat’s run for office now? If she does continue her campaign, I doubt she is going to win because that would throw an annoying wrench in the show. I do wonder if Adena is going to come back though. That would be interesting.
- Gentleman Jack – Season 1 Episode 4 “Most Women Are Dull and Stupid” [Live]
Anne and Ann took a trip to York to see not “provincial quack” Doctor Belcombe about about Ann’s “nerves, nervy…nerve businesses” (they probably mean depression). And also get away for some alone time.
Dr. Belcombe, who we learn is the brother of one of Anne’s bang-hangs, tells her she is the best remedy for Ann’s illnesses.
Who knew lesbian sex on the regular was the cure for what ails you.
Anne’s pretty pumped by this diagnosis. They tell Ann’s Aunt the good news and about their plans to travel around Europe. In turn, Ann’s Aunt has bad news. A letter came for Ann saying her friend Mrs. Ainsworth died, and her family is coming next week for the burial. Ann almost passes out from the news — there seems to be something else going on in addition to her friend’s death.
Later Ann tells Anne she thinks Mr. Ainsworth is going to ask her to marry her but won’t go into details. This is Anne’s worst nightmare come true, and she tells Ann she needs to make a decision on how she will respond to him by Monday morning before he arrives.
Finally, Ann tells her the whole story. Mr. Ainsworth sexually assaulted her in the past and now she thinks she under some kind of obligation to marry him. Anne is like, “Fuck that!” She insures her she has no obligations to him, and she is going to fix this situation.
I cannot wait to see what she decides to do to him!
- Riverdale – Season 3 Episode 22 “Chapter Fifty-Seven: Survive the Night” [Live]
After what feels like an eternity spent in this Farmie cult storyline, Cheryl and Toni have finally wised up to the fact that Edgar Evernever is using The Farm to harvest people’s organs. Last episode Cheryl helped Toni escape, but she’s still stuck there. While she’s there, she discovers her dead brother Jason’s exhumed body. Ew.
Surprisingly, Betty’s mom helps Cheryl escape through a tunnel and makes her take baby Juniper with her. We learn later that Betty’s mom has been working undercover this whole time.
Yay, Choni is reunited and they and the Pretty Poisons fight the Gargoyle King bad guys on whatever plot Betty, Veronica, Archie and Jughead are on. Awesome, everything is fine, until this scene at the end.
Really? This is what we’re doing next season? Gross. Stay weird and confusing, Riverdale. We’ll see you in the Fall.
- Jane the
VirginStalker – Season 5 Episode 8 “Chapter Eighty-Nine” [Live]
Petra and JR are working on getting their relationship back on track, but they also have to deal with Miloš who seems to be terrorizing Petra and the girls. Petra had security cameras installed everywhere, so she and JR need to make out ironically in the closet.
The girls were acting weird, but I didn’t think much of it at that point.
Later, Petra’s security team shows her a video of the twins pointing a laser at JR’s head like a gun. It turns out they are the ones who have been sending the emails, and they made up the scary guy in their room. When Petra asks them why they did it, they said it’s because they want her to break up with JR because she’s a bad guy.
Petra tells JR the girls saw the whole cliffhanger scene from last season with Miloš and the gun.
When Petra looked like she was going in for another breakup, I was like, “No, not again!” But thankfully JR steered their ship in the right direction. Fingers crossed she earns the girls trust like Petra earned hers back.
- Supergirl – Season 4 Episode 22 “The Quest for Peace” [Live]
There was a lot of Lex Luthor and fight scenes and mending relations between Aliens and Humans on this finale, but not a lot of queerness. Here is what we did get.
Brainy called Nia “astazing” (amazing + astounding) and told her he loves her.
I really thought they were going to kiss and I was sad when they didn’t.
Someone else did get a kiss though.
Aw, that was cute. I’m so glad Alex and Kelly kissed. It’s nice to see Alex happy for once, and I hope they continue it next season.
- Charmed – Season 1 Episode 22 “The Source Awakens” [Live]
The Charmed finale was a lot of demon Macy messing with reality but almost no Melko. At the end of the episode, Mel mentions:
That was so anti-climatic after an entire season of plentiful queer content. I thought that was going to be it, but then there was one last scene.
Mel doesn’t have teleporting powers. Did she back out behind that van?
I hope Niko is back for season two, they resolve their issues quickly, get back together, and continue as demon-fighting girlfriends with no secrets between them.
Tonight we have another finale — Legends of Tomorrow season two. Let’s see if they can top the giant Beebo from the last finale.