The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week – September 2, 2019

Queerest Things - Gabrielle and Christine kiss on BH90210

On this chapter of The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week, Gabrielle and Christine kiss on BH90210, and Shani comes clean to Nicky on Orange Is the New Black.

Happy Labor Day, Labor Day celebrating people. Since this was a 3-day weekend for me, I didn’t recap everything I watched, but here are the highlights.

Warning: This post contains spoilers!
BH90210 – Season 1 Episode 4 “The Table Read” [Live]

Soon in this episode, we learn Christine’s asking Gabrielle out on the Madame for Madame app, was just a friendly invite for coffee, not a date date.

Gabrielle and Christine kiss on BH90210 - I actually Googled Good first date questions

Gabrielle wants to jump up and run out of there, but Christine makes her stay by distracting her with the fact that the BH90210 cast photo’s going viral.

Later, the BH90210 cast has their first table read, and it doesn’t go that well. The 90210 gang doesn’t like the script.

Gabrielle and Christine kiss on BH90210 - I thought Andrea was having a gradual awakening

And I thought jumping on an app 3 episodes in was an accelerated timeline.

Gabrielle finds Christine sitting alone at a restaurant bugging over the script rewrite, and they process their not-date from earlier.

The almost kiss trope! I do love that she opts for sober decision making. It’s nice to see that on TV.

That night Gabrielle is ready to make a sober choice.

Wow — Gabrielle and Christine kiss on BH90210! I love that this show is all in with Gabrielle and Christine.

I didn’t expect to like this show so much since I didn’t watch the original, but the mega-meta comedy is perfection. I feel like Gabrielle has forgotten she has a husband though. I’m sure she’s going to have to deal with that soon.

Orange Is the New Black – Season 7 Episode 9 “The Hidey Hole” [Streaming]

Nicky made a little private area in the ICE kitchen for her and Shani to have alone time, but Shani still won’t let her reciprocate.

Orange is the New Black - I'd really like to return the favor

At this point, I’m thinking, “There’s something serious going on here.” And you know whatever it is it’ll be terrible because that’s how this show rolls.

Back at the main prison, Alex and CO McCullough are still in the illegal charger business.

As someone on Twitter pointed out, the hottest thing about Alex and McCullough’s scenes is both of their deep voices together. I would enjoy watching a three-way…conversation between them and Emma from Vida.

Shani comes clean to Nicky about why she doesn’t want to be touched, and it’s as horrible as you think. Shani went through a female genital mutilation ritual as a girl. Nicky apologizes for being a jerk about it before she knew, and Shani apologizes for not being able to be with her in that way.

Orange is the New Black - I want to be with you

Orange always manages to find a way to turn the bleak factor to 11.

Later, Piper visits Alex and tells her all about her woo woo retreat and her new friend Zelda and thanks her for opening up the relationship, but lets her know it’s not working for her.

Orange is the New Black - don't tell me that bitch is still making you sell for her

I am so here for a conveniently-timed shot of McCullough skulking in the background during Alex and Piper’s visit. This is the kind of dyke drama I absolutely love.

Back in the ICE kitchen, Nicky runs an idea past Shani.

I think this is a really sweet gesture – with Shani’s enthusiastic sober consent of course!

Even though it’s inside a prison, and inevitably temporary, these two are a rare cute and romantic pairing. I’m really glad they gave Nicky a little happiness in the final season.

So far I finished the new seasons of Derry Girls and GLOW and finished my binge-watch of Veep and Atypical. This week my goal is Cable Girls and Dear White People. I’m feeling the pressure to get through all these streaming shows before our fave network regulars come back and new shows air this Fall.

About Tracy Levesque

America's favorite biracial, TV obsessed lesbian. Tracy will watch almost any show with queer female characters and has a lot to say about it. She is happy to have joined queer WordPress superpowers with Mika to build this site. She lives with her wife and kid in Philly.

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