On this chapter of The Queerest Things I Watched Last Week, Penelope and Josie work through issues during the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant on Legacies, Cheryl and Toni have quite a scene on Riverdale and Charmed brings us body swap gold.
- Black Lightning – Season 2 Episode 15 “The Book of the Apocalypse: Chapter One: The Alpha” [Live]
It’s another episode, the second to last in the season, and Anissa is still looking for Grace. She goes to Gambi and tells her what she’s found so far: the old guy with the killer martial arts skills, the dead horse on the floor, and the old guy’s changing eyes.
Okay, she is a shapeshifter and her true form is an animal of some kind? Either way, Gambi gives Anissa a pep talk.
Gambi is the biggest Thundergrace shipper of the Lightning family.
Later, Anissa and Jen are having a rooftop talk, and she tells her all about the old dude and the horse. Jen asks her if she was high. She wasn’t high, but at that moment Anissa realizes Grace’s eyes did that changing thing too.
Yes! Finally, Anissa has made the connection and figured something out. Now she can come out to her as a meta too, and they can be superheroes together!
Jen is totally on board with this plan.
I was like, “Yay, Anissa can find Grace and this whole thing will be resolved.” But then that was it for Thundergrace content in this episode.
There’s only one episode left in this season, and I’m not even feeling confident Grace will be in it at all. We’ll see tonight.
- Good Trouble – Season 1 Episode 10 “Re-Birthday” [Live]
It’s Davia’s (re-)birthday, and she’s having The Coterie gang go on a trivia/scavenger hunt/Amazing Race kind of thing. Sumi invites herself to be Alice’s +1 for the game because Meera’s out of town.
Sumi is up to her same old manipulative shit with Alice, and acting all girlfriendy while Meera is out of town. In the car Alice has a Good Trouble fantasy outburst over it.
I wish she would finally say something like this for real!
We all know this couple (and some of us have been the person on either side) IRL though, right? The ex who is still in love with the ex girlfriend who takes advantage of this and acts affectionate enough to keep them strung along.
Over the course of the night, Alice is cutesy and affectionate with Alice, like reminiscing about how they always have fun together and doing a big “I love you” after Alice eats a worm for points.
Davia makes a stop at a gay bar and issues the challenge is to kiss a total stranger or someone you haven’t kissed before for points. Gael walks over and kisses Alice. Alice says she needs a palate cleanser after that kiss.
Not cool, Sumi. Sumi goes off to get Alice a beer and Malkia is like, “WTH are you doing?” Malika asks Alice why isn’t this happening with Joey instead? Then Alice explains the real reason she didn’t want to go on the radio show is because she’s not out to her parents and she’s afraid Joey will judge her for that. Malika tells her to take the risk and find out instead of bailing.
Back at The Coterie, Alice and Sumi are eating ice cream, and Sumi has the TV look on her face like she has something serious to say.
Thank goodness Alice didn’t take the bait, but what is going on here, Good Trouble? Is Sumi having second thoughts about the wedding? Is she still really in love with Alice? Is she going to make a big confession to her about this? I’m not up for a “Who will Sumi choose?” season finale.
Later, Alice is in her room, trying to leave a voicemail message for Joey. She’s confessing the real reason she turned down doing her friend’s comedy show. At the same moment, Sumi is tip toeing up to her door.
Hopefully Sumi and Joey will get the message.
- Riverdale – Season 3 Episode 15 “Chapter Fifty: American Dreams” [Live]
It’s another episode, and Cheryl and Toni are still fighting.
Cheryl surprises Toni with a trip to Quebec for some quality girlfriend time, but Toni says she can’t go because the Poisons are going on a road trip.
It’s the classic, “I gotta go before we can resolve our issues.”
Later, Cheryl goes to La Bonne Nuit with a basket of baked goods to visit Toni at work and make up for their little fight. But she sees Toni she’s on stage singing with Veronica and for some reason, that seems to really piss her off.
Am I missing something here? Why would this make Cheryl so mad? Is it because she hates Veronica? Is she jealous of Toni singing? Is it the song?
The next day, Cheryl can’t find Toni and asks her Nana Rose if she’s seen her. Her Nana says Toni gave her some cash and said it was something called “rent.”
Cheryl visits Toni at work again and this time she’s down in the casino. She tells Toni she’s not there to see her, she’s there to gamble. Hmm, okay, but Toni looks very suspicious.
Late that night, after everyone’s left work, Cheryl goes to the casino again! This time it looks like she is trying to rob the safe. At this point I was like, “Cheryl, what are you doing?” Why on earth would she be robbing the casino?
Surprise! Toni is there to catch her in the act. I was like oh, no here we go with another fight, but then something else happened.
Oh. My. Goodness!
As soon as she said the “cuff me?” line I knew something was about to happen, but I did NOT think it was going to be this explicit! It looks like they’ve listened to our complaints and are trying to make up for the straight vs. queer sex scene disparity on the show.
So, when exactly did Cheryl and Toni plan this little role play rendezvous? Do you think it was over scones during the first visit? Was the “fetch me a Belini” command all a part of it? I’m going to choose to believe that’s exactly what happened.
After that I’m thinking they off-screen made up and will stop fighting now, but I was wrong.
I thought they were going to finally talk and work things out, but they broke up instead! This is not fun, Riverdale! You gave us a big Choni sex scene and then broke them up.
Toni is right though, Cheryl can’t handle not being in the power position and sharing her girlfriend’s time and attention.
The next day, Cheryl is playing croquet when Kevin comes walking up. She obviously summoned him to make a request.
Cheryl tells Kevin there is a musical version of Heathers that Riverdale High will be putting on, with her in the leading role. End of story.
Looking at the trailer for next week, it looks like Cheryl’s demands are met. I’m okay with that because I absolutely love the movie Heathers.
- Legacies – Season 1 Episode 14 ” Let’s Just Finish the Dance” [Live]
The Salvatore School is hosting the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, and this is a big deal to Lizzie which means it needs to be a big priority for Josie to help her get what she wants. Lizzie and Josie’s mom was Miss Mystic Falls back in the day and Lizzie has been dreaming of this day since she was little.
Whatever, Penelope wants to drag her away from Pageant prep and binge-watch and Chill in her room instead.
Ah, yes, the letter, which Josie STILL hasn’t read yet! Josie tells her she can’t because she needs to help Lizzie win the crown of Miss Mystic Falls. Her plan is the enter the contest and then throw her chance. Penelope thinks the whole event is patriarchal and stupid, and this plan of Josie’s is just one more example of living her life for her sister instead of herself.
Lizzie decides to drop out of the running after she finds out the head judge hates her, but she still wants The Salvatore School to take home the crown and chooses Hope to run in her place. Josie is obviously bummed by her decision, but Lizzie says it was purely made on the statistical chances of Hope winning vs. everyone else.
Later, Josie is at pageant rehearsal, and Penelope shows up to be her escort even though it was supposed to be MG.
Will someone please read the freaking letter already!
Penelope is pretty insistent on being in Josie’s life right now. There must be something important in that letter.
Penelope and Josie rehearse the dance for the Pageant, and it’s pretty cute.
“This is the death of feminism,” made me laugh.
Later, Josie confronts Penelope in the hallway because she’s figured out the pens Penelope gave everyone for the holidays has a spell on them and she can read everything anyone writes with them. She must have been reading her diary because she was able to tell her her thoughts on Miss Mystic Falls word for word. Penelope is like, “Yes, you caught me, but I’m only using the information for good, like trying to convince you to win Miss Mystic Falls.”
Why is it selfish, obnoxious and evil to try to get your ex-girlfriend/sometimes make out friend see how much of their time and energy is devoted to helping her sister to their own detriment?
It’s the big night, and Penelope is escorting Josie down the stairs when Josie tells her the big plan of falling down and taking out Hope’s biggest competitor like a human (witch) bowling ball. Josie tries to convince her to run for real and try to win this thing instead, but her pep talk doesn’t work.
Josie FINALLY reads the letter and learns Penelope is leaving the school. Surprise! Lizzie has known this whole time.
Finally, despite Penelope telling Josie this five million times, she realizes Lizzie’s complete self-centeredness is true.
I don’t know how it took Josie 14 episodes to come to this conclusion, but here we are. And now this epiphany has been made and Josie and Penelope can resolve their issues, Penelope is moving to Belgium.
On her way out, Josie asks Penelope to stay. She tells her for weeks she’s been looking for reasons to stay, but only found more reasons to go as Josie sacrificed her happiness for Lizzie over and over again.
She gives Josie the book used to record everything written by the magic pens and a final goodbye.
I hate the “I’m moving away” trope! It’s selfish, obnoxious and evil. Fingers crossed it’s not forever.
- Supergirl – Season 4 Episode 15 “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” [Live]
James was shot in his office and the bullet went through his spine, so the Supergang is in the hospital waiting and hoping he pulls through surgery.
Both Brainy and Nia are angry with themselves for not preventing this from happening, but Brainy is taking it especially hard.
OMG Nia kissed him to shut him up! I love these two, and I’ve been waiting for them to kiss for what feels like forever.
At the end of the episode, Brainy gives Nia the classic “we can never be together” speech.
Nia doesn’t look too convinced, and neither am I.
In other queerish news, we were all introduced to James’ sister, Kelly.
People are speculating that Kelly will be Alex’s new love interest. I’m not feeling it yet, to be honest, but I’ll wait and keep an open mind!
- Charmed – Season 1 Episode 15 “Switches & Stones” [Live]
I was really looking forward to this episode since they started running the trailers because I love a body swap and a queer one makes it even MORE entertaining!
The episode starts with Mel and Jada on a mysterious trip to Ireland to retrieve a healing stone. Jada is keeping the purpose of the mission a secret from Mel, but after insisting she tell her, Jada concedes, but only if she promises not to tell her sisters.
The stone is to heal Charity’s sister Fiona who has been banished to a Hell-like state by the elders. They are able to get the stone, but only after Mel saves Jada from getting choked to death by possessed tree vines.
Mel and Maggie then have a fight over Maggie’s distrust of Jada. Mel thinks Maggie is being a baby and Maggie thinks Mel will never understand what it’s like to know what everyone else is feeling all day.
Since the two of them are having a hard time understanding each other, it’s the perfect time for a body swap! They wake up the next morning in each other’s bodies.
It looks like Maggie touched something that amplified her empath powers to body swap levels.
The actors do a phenomenal job playing the other character. My favorite part is when Maggie gets the chance to pretend to be Mel with Jada, she takes it.
But the second Mel encounters Parker she’s like NOPE!
There’s so much quality content on this episode, I can’t recap it all (plus I’m on vacation), but I encourage you to watch this show if you’re not already. Every week Charmed brings great queer content!
Tonight it’s the Black Lightning season finale. Fingers crossed for some ThunderGrace.