We all have ships. We have canon ships and the not so canon ships, the OTPs and the OT3s and more. There are always ships we will ride and die for (mine is Rookie Blue Officer Lunchbox). But there are also ships that we wish so much would be real and just … aren’t. They’re the Wish Ships, once we wish would happen.
Now, there’s a whole big rant about how we absolutely deserve better, which we do. And Tracy and I will talk your ear off about how queerbaiting with these ships can be harmful to our development as people. The sad reality is that for the majority of television history, we just didn’t have ships so we made them up.
Making this worse, in the majority of ensemble drama casts, the women don’t interact much with each other. Look at CSI and think about how few episodes Sara and Catherine had paired together. It’s really distressing.
However. The impossible ship dream introduced a lot of people to my life. A lot of my good friends started from shipping. I love those people very much. So here are my top 7 fanon ships that should have sailed, but only did in our minds (and in fan fiction).
- Supercorp – Supergirl
This wins out over SuperCat for me, since we’ve got multiple seasons of unresolved extreme friendship. Mild mannered reporter Kara Danvers is secretly Supergirl. Her best friend is Lena Luthor (yes, of the Lex variety). Together, they make puppy dog eyes and buy each other extravagant gifts. I mean, Lena bought Kara’s company to make sure she kept her job!
Say what you like, they’re in love and I’m pretty sure Kara’s family is okay with it.
- Janeway/Seven – Star Trek Voyager
The funny thing about this is that there was a very popular rumour that Star Trek was going to introduce a gay character, right around the time Seven of Nine showed up. Sadly, Gene Roddenberry died, so we’ll never really know, and in fact had to wait for Star Trek Discovery to give us TV queers. Capt. Katherine Janeway and her Borg protege, Seven of Nine, had a relationship that was supposed to be mother/daughter, and was really more like … well … there’s a reason we shipped it.
It was shockingly easy to find a whole mess of gifs for this…
- Swan Queen – Once Upon a Time
One is the Evil Queen and adoptive mother of Henry. The other is the Saviour and biological mother on Henry. And everyone ships them. A whole lot of people are pissed off about them too, for good reason. The show did a lot of queer baiting and playing up the relationship.
There’s an apple joke to be made about this ship, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
- Rizzles – Rizzoli & Isles
This one makes me so angry. They knew, they absolutely knew what they were doing, and they played it for kicks anyway. They even played being pretend girlfriends! Ugh. Jane Rizzoli was a tough Southie Boston cop, and her best friend was the educated and erudite coroner, Dr. Maura Isles. Together, they played softball, slept in each other’s beds, and agreed not to date each other’s men.
I blame Angie Harmon for the failure to launch.
- Cabot & Benson – Law & Order: SVU
I want to be a little more positive about this one, but I cannot. They baited everyone for years, and while Stephanie March was all for it (saying, and I quote, “I’m not saying we’re not…I’m not saying we’re not in love.”) we never got it. We just got ADA Alex Cabot and her glasses of justice, and Detective Olivia Benson, besties.
Those glasses though … Every time Cabot comes back to the show, she blows up the lesbians.
- Jo & Blair – The Facts of Life
How many teenaged lesbians in the 80s fell in love with these two? Jo came from the Bronx, rode a motorcycle, and wore jeans and leather. Blair came from upstate New York, traveled to Europe, hung out in the Hamptons, and drank champagne. They fought from day one, tooth and nail, and yet never once failed to have each other’s back or believe in the other.
They were absolutely my first ship.
- Faberry – Glee
This one goes out to my friends of TGI Femslash, who originally bore the name FaberryCon, as well as my wife, who swears up and down this should have happened. And you know, when I re-watch the first three seasons of Glee, I get it. Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry were more than just good friends. They fought over the same boy, Rachel had Quinn’s picture up in her locker, and everyone thought Quinn would come out. Instead, it was Santana.
I don’t know why this ship never sailed, but it should have.
What’s your favourite ship that never left port?